


Their Treehouse

by blurryfaceThalia



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), avengers endgame - Fandom
Genre: No archive warnings because spoilers, endgame spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-02-04 20:22:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18611848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blurryfaceThalia/pseuds/blurryfaceThalia
Summary: !!! ENDGAME SPOILERS !!!Don't read if you haven't watched the movie.Peter needs Therapy and finds it in an unlikely friend.





	1. The Fort

Peter didn’t stay long after the funeral. He shared one long embrace with Pepper, and somehow little Morgan in between, neither wanting to let go. But there were no words, nothing that would have expressed his feelings or made anything better – as if _anything_ could have made this better – so he simply didn’t say a word the whole time.  
He felt guilty for taking up so much of Tony’s precious left time; hugging him like he had hugged Peter when he-

But Pepper was ever so gently when she moved him to the side, so she could be at Tony’s side. He saw the light in his eyes fade, saw Pepper breaking down. Maybe that’s when he stopped calling her Ms. Potts (which was wrong now, anyway. He was gone for five years after all.), and started calling her just Pepper. He’d always seen her as something more than human, someone who could handle anything thrown at her, something unbreakable. While Tony wore iron armor, he thought that Peppers skin was even tougher than that. Turns out she was just human, like all of them.

He wondered who the guy just slightly older than him was, but he didn’t dare to ask. According to all of the faces around him, Tony had left an impact on all of them. Peter’s throat was closing up, and he didn’t want to think about it anymore, he wanted to leave and break in peace, but then he felt Mays hand on his shoulder, and he stayed where he was.  
Afterwards Happy took Morgan away – he couldn’t believe that Tony and Pepper had a kid, they were parents, and now the girl was alone as he was when Ben died – so Pepper could talk to everyone in attendance without the need to stay strong.

She broke down again, and Peter blinked his own tears away, but breathing was getting hard. He turned away and watched Happy and Morgan sitting on their little terrace in front of the house. His heart hurt for her.  
But his heart hurt for him, too. And this time, he didn’t have the energy left to put anyone else before him. He and May left, and Peter felt him turning back without wanting too.  
It would be the last time he’d see Mr. Rogers from Brooklyn, too.

 

Weeks had passed, and Peter didn’t really care. He hadn’t touched his suit since the fight, and he hadn’t left the apartment, or did anything, really. He barely existed.  
May couldn’t believe she had him back; and Peter couldn’t help but feel guilty about leaving her alone for five years. In the night of the funeral, they sat on their couch and cried, both holding each other, and May told him about Tony visiting her after he came back from space – and how she told him to go to hell and never ever return.  
It wasn’t her proudest moment, but Peter couldn’t blame her; everyone was in pain, the whole time. Well, besides him. He just _stopped_ with the snap of some fingers. And now Tony had stopped.

Shaking his head, he wondered how he was supposed to just go on with his life. It didn’t seem possible. Maybe it wasn’t.  
But May did it when Uncle Ben died, and he did it, too. He couldn’t remember if the time after Ben was worse than he felt now, but it hardly mattered – as the present wouldn’t suddenly hurt less.

He didn’t want to imagine how Pepper felt, but his thoughts circled around Morgan. He didn’t know her at all, but Tony and Pepper were her parents, so she must be an amazing human being. Poor kid. Once he had been that kid – and he decided he didn’t want her to feel as alone as he did, then. So, he went to visit the Starks – or what was left of them.

 

It’s warm, but nobody is outside.  
The lake looks calm and inviting, but it didn’t appeal to him at all. A pretty view, which should be ugly, because it shouldn’t be that pretty when the whole world sucked right now. There is a tent build up not far from the house, and Peter knows that it’s Morgan’s. Wondering why she would want to stay outside; he goes to the door and knocks.  
Friday answers him, and _god_ , he wasn’t prepared for that.

“Come in, Peter.”  
Suddenly his heart is racing, but he goes inside nevertheless. Pepper is sitting on the couch, putting her book away and greeting him with a small smile.  
“Peter!”, she sounds truly surprised, “It’s so nice to see you. What are you doing here?”  
“I just wanted to see how you both are doing.” He avoids her eyes, afraid of what she might find.  
“That’s nice.”, Pepper plops on the couch again. “We’re trying our best.”

“That’s enough for now”, Peter promises and swallows a _It will get better_.  
Pepper nods, but her smile fades. “It’s been so hard on Morgan. She’s my brave little girl, but she doesn’t want to talk to me. She just wants her Daddy back.” She swallows. “I want him back, too.”  
Peters head drops, and in an impulsive decision he moves closer to Pepper and hugs her. 

She clings to him, and breathes deeply, obviously trying to hold herself together. _It’s fine_ , he says with a rub on her back, _you don’t have to pretend around me_.  
Then they let go of each other again. Silence fills the room, and he pretends he can’t see her tears.  
“Speaking of Morgan”, he starts, “Where is she?”  
Pepper laughs humorlessly. “In Tony’s garage. Only leaves it to eat.”  
“And what is she doing?”  
Pepper stares at something he can’t see. “I don’t know. I couldn’t bring myself to go into the garage, yet.”

Of course, the garage had probably been Tony’s private space, it must be full of him. No wonder she couldn’t bear that.  
“I’m going to look after her”, he states and stands up. Peter pauses and chews his nails nervously. “If you need help with cleaning out any of – with the garage, or anything, just give me a call, alright?”  
Pepper forces a smile on her face again. “You know Peter, you really have grown since I’ve first met you.” Maybe it wasn’t forced at all. “I’ll remember it. Thank you, Peter.”  
Somehow, you can’t help but grow when the weight of the world is on your shoulders.

 

The garage isn’t as big as the basement Tony had in the Avengers Tower, but it looks more comfortable, and more lived in. Which might be because of the blankets and the fort in the middle of the room.  
“Morgan?”, he asks, acting like he is searching for her, “Where are you? I can’t see you!”  
Something moves inside of the fort. “No visitors allowed!”  
“Ah, then I’ll have to stay outside.”, he smiles. “I’m Peter, by the way.”  
“Peter?” A little head with brown eyes and auburn hair appears. “Daddy told me stories about you.”  
Taken aback, Peter stills. Tony really must have cared about him, and he couldn’t see it, was never sure of it. What an idiot he was.  
“He did?”, his voice wavers. “What did he tell you?”  
“You’re like a spider.”, and her nose crunches up, “I don’t like spiders.”  
Peter can’t help but laugh.

“That’s a nice fort you got there.”, Peter smiles. He seats himself on the desk where Tony would have worked, and for a second, he can see him in here, with him. Probably asking him to get him the screwdriver from the other side of the room or something. He couldn’t stop the tears from forming.  
“There’s a nice tent outside. Is it yours, too?”  
“Yes.”, she mumbles, “But I don’t like it anymore.”  
“Oh”, he says. He contemplates whether he should ask her why or not, but decides against it, for now. She might shut down otherwise.

Silence fills the room, and his eyes wander around the room once more. This time he notices one of Tony’s screens was on. Something was installing, but it was only at forty percent.  
“Are you downloading something, Morgan?”  
“No”, she says and hurries out of her fort and in front of the screen. She stretches her arms, as if she wants to block his view. “It’s my Daddies and you can’t touch it. It’s a secret.”  
Peter stays in stunned silence. What did Tony do? He had left his will already, what could this be?

“I’m good at keeping secrets, I promise I won’t tell anyone.” Morgan’s arms fall back down to her side, but she looks still unsure. She doesn’t move away.  
“You promise?”, she bites her lip, “I don’t want Mommy to know.”  
“If you don’t want me to, I won’t tell her.” He holds out his pinky. Still shy, she moves closer and hooks her pinky in his. “Promise.”, he says.  
“Promise.” Morgan confirms with a nod, looking more confident now.

“Why don’t you want your Mommy to know, Morgan?”  
She crosses her arms and fills her cheeks with air. “She wants to take Daddy’s things away. She will take him, too.”  
“Him?”, he repeats, “What do you mean?”  
But Morgan doesn’t answer. Instead she bounces up and down, clearly comfortable with him, she takes his arm and pulls him towards the door.  
“I want to show you something, come on!”

Morgan leads Peter to her room, and he takes a look around. It didn’t look as girly as he would have imagined a five-year-old’s room to look like, but what did he expect? A room painted in pink? Full of horses or stuffed animals?  
Morgan is the child of a genius and a badass CEO after all. She does have some stuffed animals, but her room is a warm red, with golden details, and it painfully reminds him of Tony’s Iron Man suit. Her bookshelves are almost bursting, and there are some easy science books already. Seems like she would take after her father in a matter of time.

She rummages in one of he drawers. Then she beams, and hides whatever she found behind her back.  
“My Daddy gave it to me. You can have it.” One hand with a wagging finger now in front of her body, she says, “But only when you keep your promise!”  
Peter raises his arms in defeat. Seems like he won’t be telling Pepper about this, not if Morgan was this persistent. Then she shows him what his present was – and his throat swells up.

Peter presses the Spider-Man plushie close to his heart.


	2. The Terrace

It’s been one of those dreams this night – not one of the trauma ones, at battle or turning to dust – but one where he remembers.  
He remembers Tony, _And I… am Iron Man_ , and he remembers hearing these words for the first time on TV, and later being saved by him at the Stark Expo, where he was wearing his Iron Man helmet; it’s funny to think about how Tony has had an impact on him even before he’d really known him.  
_We won, Mr. Stark, we won_ … _You did it, sir, you did it._ And Tony is just looking at him, and even though he feels like he might break any second now, exhausted after trying to protect the gauntlet, he stays there, trying to get another reaction from Tony, but he just _looks_ , and he says _I’m sorry, Tony._ He could have done better. He should have done better. Peter felt like it was his fault, all over again.  
And then Pepper was on his side again, and she gently pulled him up, so she could say goodbye to her husband, the love of her life – and Peter watches, sobbing silently, his hand covering his mouth.

Yeah, it was one of _those_ dreams.

Once he’s up, he’s ready to go back to sleep again. There are more shadows on his face now, and dark rings under his eyes; but he is alive, and he is alive thanks to Tony. He’s in debt now, and he will make sure he is going to meet his expectations. _I’m going to be better_.

He leaves the Spider-Man plushie on his bed, and takes his phone in his hand. Even though he feels so tired, today is one of the good days – better use it, before the down comes again. He needs to make a phone call, before he goes and joins the Starks for lunch, like he promised. Peter wonders if his best friend has moved on, too, or if he’s still right by his side, without five years in between. Time to find out.

They cry together, and it’s mostly because of their pain. They’re both united again, and Ned cries because he remembers turning to dust, and he cries for Peter; and Peter cries for Ned, because his best friend had to went through this, too, even when he didn’t deserve anything like that. Peter chose this life, Ned didn’t.  
At least they can go back to the normality from before, as much as it’s possible, because they will return to school together, in the same grade, and not suddenly five years apart – and as much as he feels bad about this, Peter still is glad that Ned got dusted and can _understand_ , and that he still has him next to him.

 

May drives him up to the little house by the lake. “Call me when you’re ready to go.”  
He nods and smiles weakly. “Thank you. See ya later.”  
He had asked her to stay, but there was no point; May liked Pepper, but she and the Starks – or well, just Tony – had some problems in the past and she felt that it was too late to reconcile now. Maybe one day Peter would convince her to try again – the similarities between Pepper and May are so great that he is sure they would actually get along pretty well.

For now, he would be alone with Pepper and Morgan.  
Which is fine. He’d met Morgan officially only a few days ago, but she had warmed up to him really fast, probably because Tony used to tell her about him, sometimes. Peter feels so honored that Tony made him a part of their lives, even though he wasn’t even there – and it hurts him so incredible much.  
Nevertheless, he was impressed by Morgan’s skills; she is only five years old, but she can read already really well, is good at math and reads science books for fun. It also seems like she used to help Tony with the not-dangerous stuff in his garage, while building Pepper her suit, for example.  
He feels like Morgan Stark will exceed the expectations the world surely has for her – but she might be saver from the world than Tony ever was.

Peter knocks, and enters without awaiting Fridays voice – maybe he just didn’t want to hear it. She still makes him feel uneasy. He can’t imagine what hearing Karen again might feel like.  
Once he’s inside, he takes in the scene he finds: Pepper and Morgan sitting on the couch together, tension in the room. Morgan has crossed her little arms in front of her body and stares off into space, while Pepper sits on the opposite side of the couch, a book in her hand. Peter is sure that she isn’t really reading, because her eyes aren’t moving.  
He feels anxious. Seems like there’s been some problems, or a fight, and Peter feels like he’s intruding. They had so much on their plate, so why did he think he could just go and impose on the family? No matter what Tony told Morgan, he isn’t actually a part of this family.

As to break his chain of thoughts, Morgan jumps up and greets him with a big hug. “Peter!”  
“Hi, Morgan.”, he laughs and hugs her back. This feeling, man… This little person trusted him so fast, it’s unbelievable. “Pepper.”, he smiles at her.  
Pepper returns a smile, and rubs over her eyes. She’s tired like him, too. “Peter! Good to have you here. I hope you’re hungry.”  
“I am.”, he lies, “I’ll help you set the table.” Peter lets go of Morgan and follows Pepper into the kitchen.  
Once he is sure that Morgan can’t hear them, he takes all his courage and asks “Is everything okay?”  
Pepper just sighs. “Yeah, it’s just…”, she trails off, “I’m selfish, and we had a fight. Don’t worry about it, she’s just mad at me.”  
“I’m pretty sure you aren’t selfish, Pepper.”, he states clearly, “Whatever it is you fought over, it will be fine. Like you said, it’s been pretty hard on – on you both.”  
“Yeah, I know…”, Pepper hands him three plates and some utensils, “I just wish she would actually talk to me. I’m worried.” Then she seems to remember who she is talking to – she probably doesn’t want to talk with strangers like him about her family business. “Anyway, we wanted to eat outside. Morgan will show you where to put the plates. I’ll bring the food.”  
Peter nods and lets it go.

They sit at the table on the terrace in front of the house. It has a wonderful view, with the lake and all, but all Peter can think about is the spot where he stood when they said goodbye to Tony Stark. It’s probably harder for Pepper and Morgan, because they’ll always remember it while living here – but maybe remembering is the whole reason why they did it here. They don’t _want_ to forget.  
And really, Peter doesn’t want to, either, because even though he wants to get rid of everything he remembers about the battles – he’d never forgive himself for forgetting his mentor.  
He misses him so terribly much. It feels like he’s been drifting in a state of constant pain, hurt gnawing at his bones; loss making his head spin and dim at the same time.  
It’s just not fair – half of all people had been gone for five years apparently, including Peter, and once he’s back, they lose someone else. They lose Tony, when everyone is happy to have their loved ones back. It’s not fair.

They eat in silence, tension still in the air, but Peter is still too lost in his thoughts to try and resolve it. He’d just be nervous and stutter his way through, anyway. Even Morgan is quiet.  
“This was really delicious, Pepper.”, he says and pats his stomach. His plate is still half full. “Thank you so much.”  
“You’re very welcome.”, Pepper smiles. “Morgan, will you please clear the table?”  
Morgan huffs in response and disappears fast, taking the leftovers with her.

Then Pepper turns to him and takes his hands in hers. “I haven’t asked yet…” She looks at him concerned, and he can feel the bags under his eyes more clearly than before, “How are you doing?”  
And suddenly he is on the battlefield again, and he is falling, trying to protect the gauntlet – and Pepper is there, too, catching him. _Hang on._ She had said _, I got you, kid_.  
She can’t catch him, now.  
“I’m- I’m fine.”, he smiles, but his ears always get red when he’s lying, and right now they’re burning. “No need to worry about it.”  
“Peter, you know you can talk to me-,”, she starts, and there’s a pressure building behind his eyes, but she’s interrupted by Morgan returning, and claiming Peters arm.

“Let’s read, Peter.”, she says determined. Pepper lets go of his hands.  
“What a good idea, Morgan.”, Peter chokes.

 

They stay on the terrace, and cuddle together onto the bench; Morgan had brought a book he’s supposed to be reading to her, and a few blankets. It’s really comfortable, and Peter actually likes the book he’s reading – a new one, that sounds a lot like Harry Potter to be honest, but five years have gone by, he hasn’t quite had the time to catch up yet – but he could feel his spine getting heavier the more he got lost in his thoughts. Like a weight pulling at his legs, making him fall apart from inside out.

Peter is tired, and after another chapter he closes the book.  
“We will finish it another time, alright Morgan?”  
“Okay, Peter.”

A few minutes of silence pass over them. Then Peter plucks up his courage.  
“It’s really beautiful out here.”, he says and looks at the lake, remembering The-Proof-Tony-Stark-Has-A-Heart drifting away, “Did you stay in the tent a lot?”  
Morgans shoulders drop. Obviously she doesn’t want to talk about it, but it might be healthy for her to do it. She’s just a kid, after all.  
“You know what, why don’t you show it to me?”

“No!”  
Morgan frees herself of his arm and the blankets to get up. She points at the tent. “My daddy did that for me. No one could find me in there but him. He always came to get me. If I go in now…”  
And just like that, this little girl lost her composure. Peter didn’t even think kids could have such a thing. She starts sobbing right in front of him.  
Peters throat closes up, and in the blink of an eye he is beside her again and hugging her, hiding his own face in her hair. He isn’t crying, but he might as well be, because his voice wavers when he talks.

“You know, I’m sure your mom could find you in there too.”  
“It’s not the same!”, Morgan cries, “Only my daddy can find me there. Only him…”  
He pulls here a little closer and suddenly he understands – if she goes inside, and Tony doesn’t come to get her, it would make this all real. She’d know that he really isn’t coming back again. Not even to get her from her special place.  
“I’m sorry, Morgan.”, he chokes. Then he just holds her for a while.

“You know the way you feel, Morgan – your mom feels the same way, even if she doesn’t show it. You can talk to her, any time.”, he murmurs, “She will understand.”  
Morgan sniffs, but she nods, and Peter takes that as a win. He really could use a win right now.

When Morgan calmed down, he leads her back to their little bench and sits them down. He didn’t want to think any more about this than he already had, so he tries to make Morgan talk about it more – he imagined, that was what a responsible adult would do. But how would he know.

“So, in your hiding space – what did you do in there?”  
Morgan sniffs again, but finally answers. “I spent all day drawing or tinkering in there.” And Peter freezes, because _tinkering_ , _oh god, this was so Tony_ \- “Or watching the trees, or the lake. I really liked it.”

“Well,”, he says, “We can’t let that go to waste – how about we find you a new special hiding space?”  
Morgan just shrugs, but her eyes have a certain light in them, that Peter can’t help but smile. Oh, what it would be like to have a little sister…

This time it’s him standing up, and he holds out a hand to her.  
“Tell me, Morgan, are you afraid of heights?”

 

He holds her careful with one hand, and uses his other to climb up the tree right next to the house. Even after not using his abilities for this long, it’s no effort whatsoever, it’s still like second nature to him. He gets her to the top, and they both look over the scenery, Morgan amazed.  
“I didn’t think a spider could do such cool things.”  
“Well, they’re really good at climbing.”  
“Daddy was right.”  
“With what?”  
“You’re the best superhero.”

Peter looks into the sky, blinking harshly, blinking, blinking, _the sun is really bright_ – his spine is crumbling to dust, again.  
“This is so cool! I want to stay here”, Morgan screams into the sky, “But how can I get up here without you?”  
“How about we build you something”, Peters voice cracks, but there’s only white noise in his ears, “You know, like your dad did?”  
Her cute little nose scrunches up. “We can’t make a tent here.”  
“What about a treehouse?”

 

After a few more minutes up there, it got actually a little cold – not for him, but for Morgan, and she didn’t need to become sick on top of everything else.  
So they went down, Peter carefully holding her, while she wiggled excitedly. He could lift up to ten tons – but he was so scared to drop her, that he held her with both hands – and just let himself drop the last inches down, landing on his feet. Morgan squeals in joy.

“Alright, I’m going to go and talk to your mom.”, Peter says, “You go and-“  
And she goes crushing into him again, hugging him, and he leans down and hugs her back. He ruffles her hair – Peter can’t take anything more today. He needs space, he needs to not-think and not remember. He can’t do that here.

When he searches for Pepper, she is in the kitchen, doing the dishes.  
“Let me help you.”, he says, and picks up the towel.  
“No, you don’t have to-“, Pepper begins, but he cuts her off.  
“But I want to. Don’t – don’t worry about it.”

She smiles at him, sadly, and he takes his place at her side.

After a while he begins to talk about his plan – that Morgan doesn’t want to go outside anymore, because it reminded her too much of Tony, and that they planned to create a new space for her. Pepper listens to him without interrupting one time.  
“Well, what- what do you think?”, he asks, nervous, “Is that okay with you?”

“Oh, Peter.”, Pepper wags her hands in the air to dry them a little and then comes closer, and hugs him, to his surprise. “Thank you so much. But you don’t have to act so strong. Not here.” Her hands are still wet, he can feel them on his back. “Not in front of me.”  
“I’m – I told you, I’m fine.”, he says, but together they shift a little bit, and he can see on the shelf over the sink, and there’s a photograph of him and Tony at the Stark enterprise, and he can feels his spine break, finally.

Then he sobs, and Pepper’s catching him when his legs give out under him. He’s just a kid, after all.

_I got you, kid_.


	3. The Tent

Peter cries and cries.   
There’s not much he can do – it’s ugly, it’s messy, but he isn’t alone. After some time while holding him, Pepper joins him, and together they’re sobbing and crying for what they’ve lost. A mentor, a love, a hero. A man made of iron and bones, human and imperfect but always trying his best; giving his life for the good cause.

Peter can’t describe exactly how he’s feeling, later, when they sit with red rimmed eyes and a tired look on their face. He’s made out of glass and heavy stones, and they keep destroying each other. The broken pieces of glass are piercing and slicing inside of him, trying to get out, wounding him – the stones weighing him down, farther, farther down. It’s hard to breathe, and he’s so tired, and he can see himself in Peppers eyes. He can’t move.  
He’ll probably stay on this couch for forever.

 

It’s not for forever.   
But it’s hours later, and he got three missed calls from May. He texts back, _I’m fine, will be back for dinner_ , and closes his eyes. Morgan is next to Pepper, and they cuddle on the couch. Peter get’s up and into the bathroom, splashing water on his face. He feels silly, people in the movies do that, not him. Well, usually anyway – right now, he just wants the salty taste from his tears gone.  
He’s almost pulsating. Even though he feels so, _so_ exhausted, he sat still for too long; he’s basically vibrating. It’s unsettling.  
So he decides to start with their little project, but he doesn’t want to call May. He calls Happy instead.

Happy arrives some time in the afternoon. Peter doesn’t notice him coming inside, and suddenly he’s in front of him, and Peter jumps so bad that he accidently slaps Happys hand away. Luckily it’s not enough force to actually hurt him. Still, Peter feels bad.

“I’m sorry, Happy.”  
“It’s fine, kid.”, he says and he sits down on the seat in front of him. Peter just blinks, trying to find back into this reality, and stands next to him.  
“You don’t look so good, Peter.”, Happy says and nods to the chair, and he means _sit down, I’m trying to talk to you._ Peter plops down, and heaves a breath. They’re silent for quite some time, and he thinks about what Pepper and Morgan are doing in her room (Morgan had found them and made it her mission to at least cheer her mom up – she wanted him to come, too, but he didn’t want to intrude. He still doesn’t really belong here.)  
“I miss him.”, Peter admits, finally. His voice is hoarse. Today was too much, for everyone.   
“Me, too, Peter. Me, too.”  
He really needs to get out of here.

 

He lets Pepper and Morgan know that he’ll be back soon, and once Pepper and Happy exchanged a few words dancing around everything important, they’re on their way to the hardware store.  
The drive is quiet, because Peter doesn’t know what to say. Usually he would try to babble about anything at all, but now he just bounces his leg, up and down. Sometimes Happy looks over to him, and Peter thinks he’s about to say something, but then his expression changes and he stays quiet, too.  
At least the radio’s playing. He doesn’t know any of the songs.

He also doesn’t know the store Happy is driving to, but that hardly matters. Still, the feeling of being out of place, out of time makes his hair stand up on the back of his neck.   
It is weird, being here. With Happy. Going into a hardware store, getting stuff for a new project – it feels more like a father-son-thing, maybe that’s why he’s so uncomfortable. To anyone else, they both look like father and son, and they smile at them, and they don’t _know_. They don’t know the grief, they can’t understand the kind of pain he feels, they’d never expect a kid to live through something like that.   
And now Happy is standing where Tony would have stood, and before that, Uncle Ben. _Nothing lasts_ , he thinks. _And I don’t mean that in a good way_.

Peter ignores the feeling in his stomach, as they walk slowly to the aisles. They need planks, or boards, or whatever they call it – wood, in every case. Maybe it’s good that he’s not going back to the usual Stark Enterprise kind of technology, but to something a little simpler. Maybe the work, something to do, will take his mind off of everything.   
It doesn’t take long to get what they need.  
“So, why are you doing this?”  
Peter explains the situation to Happy. “You know, Morgan wanted another place to hide from the world. Her tent didn’t work anymore.”

Happy smiles sadly at him. “I see.” They wait in line. “But it doesn’t really explain… why are _you_ doing it?”  
“I just wanted to do something good.”, Peter swallows the lump in his throat. His voice wavers, and he hates it.  
“You mean beside fighting the good fight?”

Peter can’t help himself – he _flinches_ – he doesn’t want to think about this. He doesn’t want to think about the dust, the dirt, the blood; the sounds of explosions hitting the earth ( _and people, heroes, friends-_ ) all around him. He doesn’t want to, but suddenly he’s back: shielding the gauntlet with his body, because this glove means the difference between life and death, between success and failure, between the world and Thanos.

“I know you think that you owe Tony something…”, Happy grabs his shoulder, to get his point across. It rips Peter back into the present. “But you really don’t. Owe him something, I mean. Tony did what he needed to do – and he would have done it at any time, if he had been given the chance. He just wanted the fight, the threat, to be over.”  
_Well, I can understand that_ , Peter thinks. It’s bitter on his tongue. _Why does it feel like it still isn’t over?_  
“He just wanted his family to be safe, kid.”, Happy continues, and he shakes him a little, as if he is trying to wake him up from a bad dream, “He wanted _you_ to be safe. Nothing of that is on you.”  
“Next.”, the cashier watches them, clearly listening to their conversation. The cashier coughs as Peter and Happy give them a look. They stand still for another second.

Then, Happy lets his hand fall, and Peter evades his eyes. He knows what Happy is trying to say, but… it feels so _wrong_. His brain can only process so many things in one day. This isn’t one of them.

 

On their way back, Peter spends the time looking out the window. He doesn’t want to have another talk like the one in the shop, he wouldn’t be able to bear it. He can’t listen to anyone who tells him how to feel anymore. He’s not alright. He’s exhausted. He’s just trying his best.   
So, he shuffles, and he embraces himself, warding himself off from Happy, and the world, so that he maybe, _maybe_ , can find himself some peace.   
He may have fallen asleep instead.

It’s only ten minutes later when Peter wakes from a dreamless sleep, feeling a little more awake. He has felt the car come to a halt, and wants to bolt, but Happy is faster.  
“I know you want to do this, and I will not stop you. You can do everything you want.” He says, and smiles at Peter, “But you have to look out for yourself, too. It’s not your job to make everything alright.”  
“I know.” Peter still doesn’t meet Happys eyes. He sighs. “I know.”  
“If you need help, I think I know somebody who would be willing to. It might be good for you to meet him, too.”  
Peter raises a brow. Who is he talking about? Nobody knows who Peter is or what he’s been through, except the obvious ones. And he doesn’t want to talk to them.   
“His name is Harley. He knew Tony as well as you did, I think. And he knows his way around technology, too. So… maybe you can talk to him, sometime. He’ll know who you are.”  
_He’ll know who you are_. Peter or Spider-Man? Does it even matter?  
Peter nods, and finally bolts.

Peter starts to unload the car and Happy watches him for a moment – and then shakes his head, walking off inside the house. _He’s going to talk to Pepper, about what big of a problem he has_ , Peter muses. _They **know**. They know I’m not alright_. It makes the pit in his stomach worse; when he can’t even pretend that he is alright, when nobody believes him, how could he believe himself?  
_I just need to keep going_ , he says and carries all of the wood at once (if anybody had seen him, they would have known what he was. He didn’t care, anymore.), I need to keep going until I’m not afraid to stumble and fall again every second.

He feels himself drifting away, and he rips his ghost back into his body – _keep walking, this is your reality_. But maybe it’s just a nightmare, and maybe, just maybe he will wake up, soon. Focusing is hard.  
Dropping the wood right at the beginning of the forest, he decides to get some tools. They’re probably in Tony’s Garage – or is it Morgan’s, now?  
The fort Morgan was in when he first really talked to has collapsed. He takes the crumpled up blankets and pillows in, thinking about how this place has been abandoned by two of its owners by now – and he wonders how it would have looked if Tony had survived. Probably used, maybe the fort would have been there anyway; Tony would have been working on something else (he would have needed a new arm, he decides, he would have tinkered and build himself something that screamed _I survived, barely but proud-_ ) and Morgan wouldn’t have left his side.

Suddenly Peter remembers something and his eyes snap to the computer screen next to him. The installation is at seventy percent _. Almost done, whatever it is_. Tony has left them something, something he hasn’t included in his official will.  
He wonders what it is – but it’s not his place to know. This isn’t for him. But still… he can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, it’s something big. ( _“She wants to take Daddy’s things away. She will take him, too.” Morgan had said, and what if she meant-)_

He shakes his head.

Taking the tools he needs, he decides to get Morgan – time to build a space that can hide her from the world. _I’d like to have one, too, to be honest._

“Morgan!”, he calls to her room, too shy to actually go in there with Pepper being _comforted_ by Morgan, “Are you ready to find the perfect place for your treehouse?”  
“Yes!”, Morgan calls, and Pepper laughs. They come out of Morgan’s room together. Morgan runs to him and grabs his hand, pulling him forward. A look back shows him a scene he will not forget: Pepper leaning against the door, watching them, with a sad smile on her face. 

They keep going, no matter what. But maybe they can be okay in the long run. _We will be okay_. 

“Let’s go, Peter!” Morgan is still pulling on his hands and just now he realizes he stood like a rock - not even a force like Morgan could move him. 

“Uh, yes”, he mumbles, “let’s go.”

 

 

 

Peter wakes with explosions going off around him. Still lying curled up, not on the battlefield but in his bed, and not with the gauntlet but with his pillow in his arms, he flinches, a silent scream forming in his throat. He’s covering his ears, but it doesn’t help, he’s awake already. He feels so sick. With a racing heart and trembling shoulders, he gets up, choking on his sobs, and stumbles into Mays room.  
There’s no time to feel embarrassed to wake his aunt. There’s no energy left. He couldn’t care anymore. He knows he won’t be able to do this alone. He can’t, he can’t, he can’t. May embraces him without a word.

The next morning Peter barely stirs when May gets up, even though he’s been awake for quite some time now. There’s a headache killing him, and his limbs feel too heavy for him to get up.  
She leaves him alone, and he couldn’t be more thankful. He just wants peace and silence.

The last few days had been bad, like, really bad.   
There was the normal stuff, like flinching when something was suddenly too loud. But there were some things he didn’t have before, too – sometimes he seemed to be fading out of this reality, and he felt like he’d turn into dust any second now, or he disassociated so much he didn’t even know if he was really there or not. May usually grounded him, like she was binding him to this realm, to this earth, this reality, but it didn’t always help. Like right now, for example.

His fingers are tingling, and he can’t look at them – maybe they are already dust, who knows. Peter seems to exist in between time and space; it’s really difficult to focus on Aunt May, he could barely understand her. Her face is in front of him, but she seems so far away, blurry. Not real.   
But she must be real, because she guided him into her car, and then they’re driving off somewhere.

 

The ride is fuzzy, nothing Peter will remember later, as if it never had happened. There’s just a blur of colors going by, too fast for him to focus on - the smell of **_dust_** ( _but no, that’s wrong, there’s no dust near Peter, May makes sure, he needs to come back into this reality, **please-**_ ) and noises he doesn’t recognize. Maybe May is talking to him, but who knows. For he surely doesn’t. 

They stop. He doesn’t notice, but May is next to him, pulling him out of his seat, and Peter thinks that May would make a great heroine. Maybe she should have been bitten by the spider and not him. But that’s a selfish thought, because then the roles would have been reversed between him and her; and that is nothing he would ever wish on anyone. 

 

He almost recognizes his surroundings, it’s like a far away memory of a taste, barely on his tongue. Just a reminder of a time once gone. But then he’s inside and there’s someone clinging to him, talking to him, and he _sees_ them, he sees May, Pepper and Morgan. 

_May drove me to the Starks_ , he finally understands. 

Then Morgan is pulling him somewhere, he sees the beginning of their treehouse a little farther down the path, but she’s taking him somewhere else instead. _The tent_.

It doesn’t mean anything to Peter, at first. They sit in the tent and Morgan reads to him, and he’s tuning in and out, but it’s getting easier to listen to her. She always stops after a few minutes, looks at him with the eyes of a hawk, and decides he’s not fine yet, so she keeps reading. 

He knows that he won’t be fine for a while, but what does Morgan think is happening right now? How did she learn to handle something like this? He doesn’t really recall, but he thinks Pepper let them go without arguing. She trusts Morgan, even in situations like this. Which is remarkable. 

 

Anyway. It doesn’t mean anything to him in the beginning, but then suddenly it does; because they’re sitting in the tent, Morgan’s tent, the one she didn’t want to go inside before. Now they’re sitting here, and Tony will not be here to get her, but she did it anyways, for him - he can’t get that inside his head. His heart gets it, though, and it swells three sizes, and it makes his eyes flow over. 

He’s back. 

“Don’t cry!“, Morgan demands, “Or I will cry, too.“

“Sorry.“, Peter sniffles. There’s still tears running down his face, and he is not doing anything to stop them. Morgan does - she takes the rim of her sweater and wipes his tears away. 

“Thank you.“, Peter says, and means so much more. 

 

She keeps on reading for a while longer, and Peter closes his eyes and dozes off. Much needed sleep, without nightmares. 

But he knows May and Pepper worry, so he convinces Morgan to join them again. Morgan looks worried. 

“Don’t worry. I can see you now. I found you.”

She miles and then nods, and then she reaches for him, and he lifts her into his arms. 

  
He carries her out of the tent, and Morgan tenses when they climb outside, but they are fine. She relaxes shortly after, when they get to their house again. Peter doesn’t feel ready to face the adults who will look at him with worry, like he’s a poor thing, someone to pity.

“How did you do it?”  
“What exactly?”  
“Being married to a hero like him. And the mess that comes with them.”

Peter stops to listen, and Morgan pulls his shirt. “Psst.” He puts a finger over his mouth, and winks at her conspiratorially. Her eyes sparkle, she puts a finger over her mouth too and nods serious.

“There’s not much you can do. I’d recommend a therapist – it helped him. He worked on something for that, too, before he- before he died.”, Pepper sighs, “Apart from that you can only try to be there for him. Let him know he’s not alone.”  
“It’s so… hard.”  
“It’s hard for him, too.”  
“Yes, I know. Poor boy.”, May says, “I still can’t believe that he decided he wanted to do these things – he’s so brave, I can’t believe he grew up to be a hero.”

They sit in silence, and Peter decides it’s safe to go in there, when Pepper speaks again.

“How did _you_ do it?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“When he… When your husband died.”  
Silence again. “It was hard. For a very long time. You will feel alone, and you will cry, and it will be hell.” May wavers and pauses, “But you will pull through. As I did, you have someone who depends on you. And it’s not easier on her than on you.”

“How come we never really talked _before_?”  
“It just wasn’t… it wasn’t the right time.”

 

It’s time now. He stands there with Morgan in his arms, his aunt and her mom sitting and talking on the couch, and he can’t help but feeling like they’re growing, growing into something bigger, pulsating, hurting; but they’re together. A family made of hurt and lost kids and gone loves.


End file.
